Broken? What are some possible scenarios which may make a person feel broken? Do you think it could be a frightening health diagnosis? That could be. Could it be losing one’s job or home? What about coping with the loss of a loved one? Could it be the loss of a relationship or a business? Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
How many people do you know who seem to lead a perfect life? I’m certain there are quite few, if any, who have never had a factor which could potentially cause one to feel broken. It is part of being human.
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. Ernest Hemingway from A Farewell to Arms
The tipping point which shattered my life was losing our son. It can be devastating to lose a family member, particularly from the younger generation.
Imagine our lives as fragile clay pots. What are we to do to pick up the pieces of our lives to enable us to continue? Some pieces are never able to be replaced. Those will leave holes. There are also tiny fragments which splinter away and are perhaps not as necessary or important. Regrouping and gluing oneself back together reveals the cracks and holes. What if those cracks were highlighted with gold? Our learning journey through the rough lessons could be seen as celebration.
The clay pot technique of Kintsugi means golden joinery. My previous description of our lives as clay pots describes how the Japanese culture repairs their pottery. In fact, a pot which has been broken and gone through this Kintsugi process is considered more valued than an unbroken pot. This art parallels our broken human lives.
In our lives, we generally have a choice. We may choose to give up and allow our brokenness to go the way of Humpty Dumpty. Or, we may choose to investigate any and all possibilities to permit a continuation of life with a different format.
Had we not lost our son, my life may have simply carried on with the status quo. However, when he received the cancer diagnosis, which could have been my undoing, I was faced with a choice. I could have chosen a fixed mindset, meaning I had no power to change anything, so why try. However, I loved him far too much to do nothing. I chose, instead, to adopt a growth mindset to stack the odds in our favor. As a result, I had experiences which helped to piece together my fragments.
Our son did stay with us roughly seven years post diagnosis, but then he had to leave. I would have never thought to become an energy healer if he hadn’t become ill. I would not have had experiences of oneness with everything. I would not have been as aware of messages from beyond the veil if our beloved son was not on the other side. I would not have started a blog. These have become some of the golden highlights in my life journey thus far.
The gold filled breaks emphasize the unique story lines of our lives. Our cracks and broken natures can become things of beauty when valued as part of our path, just as a treasured Kintsugi vessel.