What is the connection between grief and visits from beyond? Sometimes when we grieve, it may feel as if we’re crawling into a cocoon, a cave or even a dungeon. We can be so caught up in our sorrow that we may miss a visit from beyond. Here are three thought leaders who have helped me in moving from grief to visits from beyond. They are Carl Jung, Jamie Sams and Dorothy Maclean.
Carl Jung: Moving Beyond Grief
Carl Jung was a Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist. He stated “What you resist persists.” Here is an article on ten ways of overcoming this resistance. https://www.wellbeing.com.au/wild/what-you-resist-persists-10-ways-overcome-resistance
With anything that one is resisting, that sense of resistance creates a constant vigilance and unease. It tends to block anything not related to whatever one dreads. According to Jung, that resistance actually draws that avoided thing toward you. Are you resisting grieving? If one is trying to avoid grieving, it can build up. In the long run, it is easier to just allow it to release and flow from your body.
When a person intensely grieves, one must certainly allow and accept the grief. This is a part of one’s healing. The tears must flow. Crying can eventually help to dissipate the sorrow.
Another thing a grieving person may resist could be that you may not feel you are receiving signs from your dearly departed one. As Dr. Jung suggests, if we are hyper focused on not receiving signs, that may, in essence, increase our likelihood of not receiving any signs. There seems to be a connection between grief and visits from beyond. What can we do?
Jamie Sams: Watch for Signs from Beyond
As a Native American, Jamie Sams shared many stories of her people. One such story came from her EARTH MEDICINE: Ancestors’ Ways of Harmony for Many Moons. She told of a white man who came to a tribal leader asking for help. The white man shared the wisdom from his culture that, “Many are called, but few are chosen.” This in turn, caused the tribal leader to collapse into uncontrollable laughter. Apparently the Native Americans say, “All are called and chosen, but few listen or find the courage to take action!”
From my experience, sometimes I may not be paying attention to signs from our son. We must be open and aware to any kind of experience in order to receive it. Focus on each of your senses during different moments of your day. It is also crucial to just relax and expect signs, even small ones.
There could be signs that may affect any of our five senses. I’ve not experienced the sense of taste as a sign, but I would guess it could be just as possible as the other four.
Sometimes we question whether a certain bird, butterfly or animal is really a sign. If the circumstance is very unusual, such as a butterfly walking all over you, it is more than likely a sign. However, even a fleeting glance could be a sign. I find it more of a blessing to accept it as a sign rather than question it. If it helps you to feel a connection to your loved one, then so be it!
Dorothy Maclean: Sorrow and Joy
Dorothy Maclean is one of the founders of the famously productive Findhorn Gardens in Scotland. Three of her titles I’ve enjoyed are Choices of Love, Call of the Trees, and Memoirs of an Ordinary Mystic. She taught that the Angel of Sorrow is the very same angel as the Angel of Joy!
I like to think of this paradox in relation to hot and cold. Imagine trying to teach the concepts of hot and cold. It is a given that hot and cold are in relation to one another. Ponder what is cold or hot to an ice cube. What would a flame consider hot or cold? Where is the dividing line between hot and cold? What is hot or cold is very dependent upon the individual.
The same concepts are true between joy and sorrow. Additionally, we must have known one extreme in order to know the other.
As a grieving parent, I could be anywhere on this spectrum between sorrow and joy. Generally with time, one can expect the sorrow to vary. It is a process much like a fluctuating thermometer during seasonal changes. Just as a thermometer goes through cycles of temperature changes, we can also experience fluctuations in our scale of sorrow versus joy. However, if your set point between sorrow and joy is not trending upward from your lowest point, it may be time to seek help. If you are experiencing excessive grief see GRIEF RELIEF or Tuning into Healing: Grief.
Joy of Visits from Beyond
As to joy, there is nothing better than receiving signs from our loved ones to remind us of their continuing presence. Everyone’s signs may be different. Mindful awareness as well as being open to the experiences are key. Truly, the signs could be anything that resonated with our loved one. Think of things they liked, perhaps they had a favorite animal. Maybe there are specific songs that may remind you of them.
Sometimes, even their words coming to our mind can be comforting. When we are fortunate, we may have dreams of them. I journal these to help hold them in my heart. All of these, various animals, items important to them, their words, dream visitations, etc. are what I would consider to be signs from our loved ones. Expect the signs, practice mindful awareness and look for the joy.
May you journey through your grief to visits from beyond. Mindfully stop to look, listen, feel, smell and taste as your life transforms. May your sorrow grow ever closer to the grandest joy from the Angel of Joy!