It seems there is never a time when we are ready for grief. We may say, “Wait, grief weight!” First of all, we never want it in our lives. If it must come, surely it could just wait, right? Then when it does arrive, it comes with a tremendously weighty burden. How can we cope? Are there so called right ways to grieve?
Recently, this post was inspired by a Facebook photo of a fabulous sculpture. It is Celeste Roberge’s piece entitled, Rising Cairn, (welded steel, galvanized, 4000 pounds granite). This structure features a crouching human constructed with a steel framework. Easily seen within the human form are many large, heavy rocks. Here is a site which shares images as well as more information on the sculpture: https://blog.sevenponds.com/soulful-expressions/grief-and-rising-cairn-by-celeste-roberge
Upon viewing this artwork, I pictured my former self filled with the large heavy rocks of grief. I pondered over what ways I have been able to toss many of those weighty rocks from my body, one-by-one.
Gratitude for Grief Weight
One way to lift some of the weight of grief is to be grateful. It can be achieved by an awareness in searching one’s environment with a discerning eye. Contemplate the feeling that each and every person, place or thing induces within you. If it creates a positive feeling, then it is deserving of your gratitude. However, what if it makes a negative vibe within you? Why then, perhaps you can be grateful for the lessons you are learning from it. Practicing this with regularity can be life changing.
Creativity Can’t Wait!
When one is in the throes of grief, creativity can’t wait. Expressing myself through writing, making artworks and playing music has been life saving. I simply feel so much better when I am releasing my feelings in a form which allows my emotions free reign. If what I do can help others, then it is all the better.
Good Grief, Wait, Grief Weight!
Good grief, getting out in nature is very cleansing! It is so much easier to relax and breathe deeply when in a natural setting. Being around plant life, indoors or out, recognizes the necessary interplay of our oxygen and carbon dioxide. It seems rather miraculous that what is poisonous to our systems (carbon dioxide) is necessary to plants. Then, of course, the oxygen is life enhancing to us. I love to contemplate the expelling of grief, then the plants transforming it. When we exercise out of doors, this interchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide is much more effective. I imagine that my grief is purging from my body with each and every breath.
Another thing that this artist loves about being out in nature, is to study the intricate patterning that is in all the plant and animal life. It just seems there is so much to discover about this world. To me, if there is such amazing design in all of this, then even the cycle of life and death could have a pattern of necessary beauty.
In working through my grief, I’ve found much comfort in reminiscing through old photographs. This reliving of the good times we’ve shared with dearly departed loved ones does my heart good. I also love speaking of our lost loved ones and keeping their memory alive.
How do you grieve? Let us count the ways…
Does everyone grieve the same? Should everyone grieve in a similar manner? There is absolutely no one right way to grieve for everyone. Each of us must forge our own path as to what feels personally right.
I’ve noticed a marked difference among various people in their approaches to grief. What I find comforting may be appalling to some. What others do may not be effective for me. I found a very informative article explaining masculine and feminine ways we might grieve. It truly does not matter if one was born male or female, we all just gravitate to the methods which work best for us. Here is the site: https://www.cfhp.com.au/grieving-differences-men-women/
The ways which work best for me do happen to be in outwardly expressing myself. This is listed as being a more feminine way to cope. As you may have noted in the site listed above, people with more of a masculine, inward focus may be very non-verbal, but work their grief out by doing physical work. Portraying a strong and controlled self is also a masculine trait. This site gave me more understanding and compassion for seeing that there are many individual ways which come naturally to grieving folks.
These are a few of the ways I am able to toss some of the heavy rocks of grief from my body. When you may be tempted to exclaim, “Wait, Grief Weight”, may you find the ways which work best for you!